Begotten is an important word in Christianity. You may recall the words of the Nicene Creed, “We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ, the only Son of God, eternally begotten of the Father... begotten not made, of one Being with the Father.” An adjective, begotten is used to describe the nature and substance of Christ. The first chapter of the Gospel of John states, “The Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.” (1:14) And the well-known and perhaps most quoted Scripture of the New Testament, “God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life.” (3:16)
Both John’s Gospel and the Nicene Creed were written in Greek. The word we translate to begotten is “monogenous.” “Mono” by itself simply means “one” but in the sense of being alone, or only, like the only one – last man on earth – also forsaken or destitute of help. In the animated movie, Ice Age, a mono male wooly mammoth was the one, the only, the last. There was none like him and he was forsaken and destitute because when he died, so would his species. “Genous” means “arising” in a particular place or manner and is the root of genes or genetics. It is typically translated as “son” because it has to do with family traits. In some newer translations of the New Testament, begotten is translated as “only” or “one and only” like this: “And we have seen his glory, the glory of the Father’s one and only son.” (1:14) Monogenous implicitly refutes the belief that through prayer and self-sacrifice, one could become a “son” of God. The adamant belief expressed in the New Testament and by the early Church, and reflected in the Nicene Creed, declares that God has one Son – only one, no one else, period... don’t even try to become The Son of God because he is monogenous! Another way to look at begotten and monogenous is to say that there is none like Jesus. No one ever was, no one will ever be – there is the one and only Jesus. As a side note, the first name of Christ is a common name. In our verbiage it would be like saying, “The one and only Joe!” The emphasis is not on Joe’s first name but rather on the substance of who Joe is. Likewise, this is how we reflect and understand Christ Jesus – the name above all other names. The Gospel of John wrote about Christ as being begotten from God. This is not a traditional father/son relationship. My dad was born before me, so, in a sense, I was begotten by him. What St. John is getting at in the Gospel is that although we see Jesus the Son as begotten from God, he was with God in the beginning and, in fact, all things were created through him! This is the very same mystery that the Nicene Creed tries its best to explain. Like a candle flame to another candle flame, they (God and Christ) are the same substance. They are both from the beginning. Christ, however, is the one and only human one through birth from his mother, Mary. The “begotten” point of all of this is simply there is no one like Jesus. No one ever was, no one will ever be. He loves us to the end and will someday return to restore all things. He won’t send in a look-alike, but it will be him, in the flesh, full of Grace and Truth to which every knee will bend and every tongue will confess. Lord Jesus, get here soon. -Fr. Marshall I don’t follow Utah politics but I can tell you the name of their Lieutenant Governor, Spence Cox. I don’t know much about his political leanings but I was moved by a speech he gave at a vigil for the victims of the Pulse nightclub shooting. He said that love has changed his heart. When he was young, he bullied those he now realizes were gay. But, those who identify as LGBTQ have taught him love and he now loves them back. He asked a question to his “straight friends.” When they heard the shooting was at a gay bar at 2 a.m., did their feelings of sadness and empathy diminish? If so, he said, we have more work to do in this country to learn to love one another. He raised the fact that with God, love is the law.
His question made me ponder my own heart. Do I weigh the value of life depending upon someone’s age, ethnicity, height, weight, religion or gender? If so, I have work to do to live up to the expectations in the Declaration of Independence and in Jesus’ command to love. I grew up in Washington State during the time of the so-called Green River Killer, described as the most prolific serial killer in U.S. history. In college, the lead investigator talked to us pre-law students about the investigation. We learned that the Green River Killer’s primary targets were female prostitutes. The investigator said there were two simple reasons for this – accessibility and anonymity. During a question and answer session, a student asked about the second reason for the targets. The investigator gave an answer that to this day makes the bile rise in the back of my throat. He said less weight is put on solving the murder of a prostitute so the serial killer was able to extinguish more lives with less chance of being caught. Recently, bombings and killings have occurred in three sites in Saudi Arabia, the airport in Istanbul was bombed, new avalanches of attacks are happening in Pakistan, and bombings have killed people in Kabul and in Dhaka. I ask my own heart if it changes the weight of these deaths if they, or the intended targets, are Muslim? Jesus identified himself with the outcasts, the vulnerable, and the unwanted. We are told that true religion is caring for orphans and widows – which are representations of the unwanted and discarded. (James 1:27) Our baptismal covenant asks, “Will you seek and serve Christ in all persons, loving your neighbor as yourself and will you strive for justice and peace among all people, and respect the dignity of every human being?” That is a weighty question; an honest answer can be difficult. Yet, love is the law from Christ. Without him, I’m unable to do it, but with God, all things are possible. Lt. Gov. Cox concluded his speech to the Utah gay and lesbian community with this, “You know a little something about hate. And you know a little something about persecution. But you also know something about loving, blessing and doing good. What our country needs more than ever is less politics and more kindness. And so may we leave today with a resolve to be a little kinder. May we try to listen more and talk less. May we forgive someone that has wronged us. And perhaps, most importantly, try to love someone that is different from us.” -Fr. Marshall We had our first evening Bible study at a local pub. I believe that studying the Bible off church grounds is important. The Bible message sounds more relevant when reading it out in the world. Why not a pub? This isn’t a normal pub – it’s brand new and located inside of St. Paul’s Senior Home.
Thanks to the Bible study, my not-so-covert plan of establishing a relationship between Saint John’s and St. Paul’s is working. Several folks from St. Paul’s have asked if their residents can attend next week. I told them all – residents, employees or guests – are welcome and even encouraged to attend. It seems that my devious plan is working. The evening started with just three of us but quickly ballooned to twenty! It was exciting to be a part of a large group that wants to study the Bible. I explained that I would lead on our first night but after that I will provide material for someone to lead each of the next four weeks. After all, the best way to learn something is to teach it. I’ve felt the presence of the Holy Spirit strongest when I step out to lead and many others have said the same thing. Whether they get up to make an announcement, ask for a birthday blessing, deliver a message, or to tutor or to teach in the school, despite anxiety, if they have any, the reward is feeling much closer to God. We are using a group Bible study book that sheds light on each story and includes questions for the group to ponder. The leader simply reads the passage from Genesis and then walks the group through a reflection on the passage and then leads the questions. Nevertheless, disappointment registered on some faces – like they were there to learn from me. After our study was over, I was relishing the size of the group and basking in the desire some had to have me teach them. It frankly fed my ego. But right then and there, standing in my bedroom closet, a clear message came to me. YOU ARE TO RAISE UP AND EQUIP OTHERS TO LEAD – TO TRAIN, NOT ENTERTAIN. Oh, I thought, that was pretty clear. But God was still not done speaking. That night I had an interesting dream about entertainment on television and eating at church. The next morning, I sat down with a parishioner who connected things for me by talking about some much larger, non-Episcopal churches. This person said they have lights, smoke, loud rock n ’roll music but all they seem to do is entertain. I love it when God speaks through parishioners. And my response to God is this, okay, I get it. Jesus promised Peter that if he followed he would become a fisher of people. I imagine that later on Peter told others the same thing – if you choose to follow Jesus, you will lead and learn. So, I’ll stick with the original plan and have a different person take the lead each week. I am confident that by following what God transmitted to me that we’ll be equipping others to follow Christ. Ironically, in many ways for me sitting back and being in the group is a way to lead. -Fr. Marshall This Sunday, on the eve of Independence Day, we are holding a vigil for America at both services.
In the locked room where the disciples hid after Jesus’ crucifixion, when Jesus appeared to them and showed them the marks of the nails in his body, they were holding a vigil. In the Book of Acts, (Saint) Peter was arrested and thrown into jail. When an angel of the Lord released him, he went back to the house where he was staying. Even though it was late at night, the followers were up praying for him in a vigil. A first century world traveler who kept a detailed diary stayed briefly in Jerusalem during the Passover. He was impressed by a particular activity on the part of one group of people. They stood on a hillside just outside of the city walls. They prayed, walked in circles and then would stoop under a heavy wood beam. Historians later determined this traveler had witnessed a group of Christians holding a vigil at the site where Jesus was crucified. It was on the Friday before Passover which we call “Good.” A vigil is a time of quiet, of reflection, of reading Scripture and prayer. It can be held privately, or as we have seen in Florida, it can involve thousands of people. The typical format is an opening prayer – usually stating why everyone is gathered – then a reading of Scripture, silence, prayer, silence, Scripture, silence, prayer, etc… A vigil can last 30 minutes, many hours, or even years, in some instances. The Christian belief is that vigils change things. First and foremost, vigils change the heart of the participant. They bring peace and comfort. Secondly, vigils can change the world. When people gather for a vigil, God hears the prayers and through faith responds. I participated in a vigil in 2009. The governor’s recession-era budget included major cuts in health care to the most vulnerable in California. Through the Interfaith Network, clerics from all different religious traditions gathered at a medical clinic in Vista. The leaders would offer a reading of Scripture, a prayer, and then a short homily. During each homily, the speaker would introduce a different group that would lose vital heath care resources. The groups that stood out most for me were three home contractors whose business had dried up for lack of funding. The hundred people there prayed for the Governor to change his budget and save that clinic and hundreds of others like it around the state. The end result, the clinics remained open, nothing short of a miracle. I have friends and parishioners who self-identify along all points of the political spectrum. Nevertheless, there are a few things we all agree on – freedom isn’t free, we live in a great Republic, and our country needs prayer. Everyone I talk to is troubled by violence in America. We are all concerned about the state of the Union that we are handing on to our children. And we’re going to do something about it. This Sunday, we are going to hear God’s word, bow our heads in prayer, and place our country in God’s steady and supportive hands. May God’s peace be with us and may God grant peace to America. -Fr. Marshall How big is God? I think we believers all agree that God is huge, bigger than big, huger than huge. But, most of us have probably not spent much time thinking about how small God is which is what is on my mind this week.
In our family prayers on Tuesday, Ethan thanked God for mitochondria and photosynthesis. It was no surprise to me because he is enrolled in biology and speech at College for Kids at Southwestern. The biology professor impressed upon them the importance of cell development and energy. If it’s been a while since you’ve been in a biology class, here’s a quick refresher. Mitochondria act like miniature batteries that provide energy to the cell. They take energy locked in food and, in what I can only describe as a miracle, combine oxygen and food and turn it into power. For example, your brain cells require energy to read this sentence. If you are sitting while reading this, your muscles require energy to maintain your upright position. Both your brain and muscles receive chemical energy from mitochondria. Without them, we’d be energy-less like the proverbial bump on a log. I like to eat and I like to breathe. At a mini-cellular level, eating and breathing would be useless except for mitochondria. Speaking of eating, photosynthesis is very important for those of us who enjoy food. It’s a process whereby plants trap light energy and convert it into sugar called glucose. On Saturday, I enjoyed a good sweet ear of corn. Without photosynthesis, none of that would have been possible, especially the “sweet” part. During a normal day, we don’t see photosynthesis or our mitochondria at work. If you are like me, you take it for granted. Of course plants need sunlight and convert it to sugar which feeds me and the animals I like to eat. I have the brain power to read, pray, run and think but it wasn’t until Ethan’s thanks to God for these things that I found myself appreciating them. We often thank God for big things and pray to God to do big things. When was the last time you thanked God for the small things, like cell reproduction and photosynthesis? Perhaps this week you will find yourself thanking God for the building blocks of life and thank our Creator that we are included in that life. But I would be entirely remiss were I not to return to Ethan and his prayer which started this entire line of thought. And so, I close with these words from the pen of Father Eugene Hemrick of the Catholic News Service: “Seeing through the eyes of a child means keeping alive a childlike fascination and allowing it to captivate and draw us into the mind of another. We must apply it when we wonder what Christ desired when he said, “Unless you turn and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven” (Mt 18:3).” -Fr. Marshall Fr. Tolley and I had the privilege to be at Sallye Graves’ bedside hours before she passed into glory. We were blessed to offer last rites to this long-time Christian and faithful Saint John’s member. In addition to singing in the choir at Saint John’s, Sallye performed with radio and television personality Fred Waring, trained with Jack Metz, and sang with the San Diego Orchestra. Yet, on her last day, I took her hand and told her that she was about to join the best choir, the one she’s been preparing for her whole life, the choir that sings praises to God in heaven.
The Bible mentions a heavenly choir in Isaiah, chapter 6. The prophet saw and heard the choir singing, “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts; the whole earth is full of his glory.” In Revelation, John saw a vast multitude from every nation, tribe and language crying out in a loud voice, “Salvation belongs to our God who is seated on the throne, and to the Lamb!” The angels, elders and four living creatures sang, “Amen! Blessing and glory and wisdom and thanksgiving and honor and power and might be to our God forever and ever! Amen.” (Rev 7) Through faith in the Bible, we believe there is a choir in heaven. I, however, have a little more information about this than you might expect which did not come from seminary. I had a dream-like experience when I was in my junior year of high school. I say dream-like because unlike most dreams that fade way, this event was just as vivid as my memories of visiting Yellowstone. In that junior year, I was in a symphonic band that was competing for perfect scores at the yearly state contest. Our center piece was Marche Slave by Tchaikovsky. Our director was pushing us to be perfect. I was the student-assistant director and lead chair so I felt some of the pressure. Privately, he told me, “There is no perfect performance. We have sixty students in this band. There will be mistakes. We just have to strive for our best.” The week prior, I had this dream. I was in an extraordinary orchestra. We were in gorgeous black and white outfits. The brass of my trombone shined like pearl. Our “audience” was a stunning array of white and gold light that had substance – not like a beautiful sunset – but more like life itself. This full orchestra had a giant choir behind it. The music we played I had never heard before. It was perfect. Every note, every singer, every instrument was on pitch and on time. There was no director; neither was there music. We listened to one another and simply played from our hearts. I told my director (who is a Christian) the following day of my dream. He said I had been blessed to see the orchestra of heaven. Later that week we played the best we could. Because of our initial high scores, we ended up playing our final piece, Marche Slave, at the end. Most of the other high school bands were in attendance – partially because of the timing, partially because we were playing a difficult and well-known piece. We weren’t perfect but we certainly played our best. We were rewarded with the top score. I believe that Sallye is now a part of the giant choir of my dream, singing praise to God who is love, light and life. There is a perfect performance awaiting us. And through God’s grace, when we arrive, you’ll know someone in the choir. -Fr. Marshall Now that summer is upon us, we’re looking at what to do about our television viewing habits. I know some families that enforce a no-TV-summer. I am impressed by those folks but that’s not us. Nevertheless, I’d like to give up cable.
I am tired of paying for channels I have no interest in watching. There are many options for us so-called “cable cutters.” My favorite option is to buy a rather expensive box that picks up over the air (free) broadcast channels from the major networks. It has a 1 terabyte hard drive to record as much as my heart desires and there is no monthly subscription fee. The downside is that I won’t be able to watch my favorite cooking shows. But if I am willing to pay for cable channels, there are internet based viewing options that stream right into that fancy and expensive box. It appears the TV viewing world is heading toward an a la carte system. Viewers like me want to pay only for what we watch. For instance, I’d like to watch ESPN but I have no desire to watch any of the plethora of ESPN-related channels. I’d like to watch the Food Network but don’t want to be yoked into paying for MTV and Bravo just to get the one network I want. I have friends that love the Golf channel and Bloomberg News but never would watch the Food Network or AMC. They too are frustrated at the pay-for-all cable setup. That system is a little bit like going to the movies to watch one particular film but having to pay to watch all the other movies, too. Or, it is like buying a ticket to watch the Padres but also for admission to the other ballparks in California. Our world seems to becoming more compartmentalized, specialized, customized and focused on catering to our own perceived needs and wants. One example of this is how I used to watch cartoons – they were available on Saturday morning, period. Today, my children can watch cartoons on a variety of devices (TV, tablet, phone, computer) whenever they want. In our compartmentalized and customized world, I wonder how this affects our spiritual lives. How relevant is church when we want something our way? The Church says, “Jesus is the way, the truth and the life,” yet our culture says, “Have it your way.” We believe in a personal savior which is to say that Jesus knows us personally. When we pray, it usually is a very personal, tailored prayer for ourselves and our unique concerns. Likewise, when we read the Bible, it is absorbed into ourselves in a very personal way. How many of us are moved personally when we hear the opening words of Psalm 23, “The Lord is my shepherd.” At the same time, we have corporate worship on Sundays. Our services are not tailored or customized for our independent, individualized needs or concerns. We don’t even have a say in the liturgical color of the day (green, by the way, this Sunday). Yet, it is through our corporate worship, through reciting ancient prayers and reading of God’s word, that we get a sense of a God who knows us personally. And, although God may want to have an a la carte approach to us as individuals, God loves all of us. No exceptions. The bread that Jesus raised up, broke, and said “Take, eat,” wasn’t just for a few particular people Jesus liked or had a preference for, it was for everyone – Judas included. Likewise, the death and resurrection of Jesus wasn’t just for a particular elect or secret group. His resurrection opened the way for all who believe. -Fr. Marshall This Monday, Saint John’s will graduate another class of 8th graders. Graduation is always a bittersweet time for those of us involved in our wonderful school. Consider this: half of the class has been at Saint John’s for ten years. Three-quarters have been at Saint John’s for at least five years. For many students, Saint John’s is their second home and their primary spiritual home. For some, Saint John’s has been the most stable thing in their life. There will be no other experience like this in their academic lives. They went through very important life transitions including, to be blunt, puberty. So there are two sides to graduation, the bitter and the sweet. The bitter is those graduates will never have a community like this; and neither will Saint John’s ever have a community just like them again.
The sweet side of graduation is that they are ready to go. We can’t hold them here any longer. God is calling them out and the world needs them. As the students take their graduation walk on Monday and depart from Saint John’s, I am confident of many things. First and foremost, I am confident about the education they received. We educate the whole child: mind, body and spirit. They have been soaked in the Anglican moral tradition, which at its core holds Christ as exemplar for how we are to conduct ourselves with God and one another. From that core notion of Christ-as-exemplar we show the virtues of patience, forgiveness, humility and most of all, love. They know they are loved by God through Christ, forgiven by God through Christ, and called to serve others through Christ. This moral theology and tradition reverberated through all their studies even in subjects like art, PE, and science where we might not expect to see those values. Christ as exemplar is the standard we hold up to them in their daily conduct with one another on campus and off campus; we even teach about Christ in their online activity. I am confident our graduates are going to change the world for the better. We have shaped a holy people for the sake of the world and, frankly, the world needs them. Another thing I am confident of is that they are being commissioned as apostles from Saint John’s. They’ve been disciples, which at the root means “students.” They are now ambassadors, as those who are sent into the world. Ambassador shares its root with “apostle." They were students, but now are the sent-ones. This process is not unique to our school. It repeats itself each and every Sunday. On Sunday morning, we come to Saint John’s as students to learn, be fed, and worship God. The lessons, sermon and prayers lead us to follow Christ as exemplar. Then, with the final words, “Thanks be to God!” we become the sent-ones to bring Christ to the world. We are the same as those eighth graders who will be graduated in a few days, holy people for the sake of the world. There are many Sundays where I have a bittersweet moment. I stand at the open gate in the early afternoon and miss the congregation and the worship experience we just had. I wonder where everyone went. The sweet part is the knowledge that the world will be changed by what we learned and experienced through Christ our exemplar. Likewise, on Monday late afternoon I’ll stand at the gate and think about our new apostles and experience a bittersweet moment. I will miss them but also have the sweet hope that they continue living Christ-as-exemplar and that as a result, the world will be changed. -Fr. Marshall Non-Anxious Place
The clergy of the diocese gathered this past Tuesday. 28 clergy had RSVP’d; 40 showed up. It was basically all of us together in one room. The Bishop called us together to talk about what the Church in the 21st Century in San Diego should look like and how should it act. It was the beginning of an on-going conversation. It’s also the beginning of a new time where the Bishop (any bishop) doesn’t direct what the Church should do; rather we sit and pray together and mutually discern the call of the Holy Spirit. If you are wondering what the clergy decided, that remains to be seen. There was some healing and we decided to meet at least three times a year to continue our prayerful journey. It was a very good start. Yet, something very large happened at our clergy gathering and I hope it continues to infect us. I’ll sum it up in two words: God’s peace. I had a palpable sense of God’s peace with us. It was noted from many different priests that we are living in anxious times. These times seemingly will only get more anxious. This coincides with a story on NPR that said Americans seem to be growing more “red” and more “blue.” How does the Church, and specifically the Episcopal Church in San Diego, respond to anxious times? Perhaps by becoming a non-anxious place. The word anxious doesn’t seem to have a good antonym; carefree and unconcerned are the most popular. A non-anxious church isn’t necessarily carefree or unconcerned. A non-anxious church is one that decides to be walking intentionally into God’s peace. It doesn’t mean we let things slide or are unconcerned with the problems and anxieties of our church, community, nation or world. Rather, we should do what the psalmist tells us in Psalm 46 – be still and know that I am God. In the midst of our anxious world, the non-anxious church will be intentionally “still” and “know” that God is in our hearts, our families and in our house of worship. Many tell me that when they walk into Saint John’s, they feel the presence of God in the warmth and hospitality of our members. They have a sixth sense of knowing that God is present. I enjoy seeing people sitting in the pews before or after the service, being still and knowing they are in God’s presence. I want to share with you one of my new favorite prayers about peace. You can use it in church at home. Quiet me, O Lord. Calm my mind. Still my hands. Remove any worries from my heart. I want to give you my full attention. Slow me down so that I can hear your voice and see you at work in my life today. Amen. -Fr. Marshall Saint John’s is a center for healing. Many parishioners experience accelerated recovery through prayer at Saint John’s and I have been told stories of healings that I believe are modern day miracles. And healing is not only for our parishioners. Every month I hear stories of people we pray for who receive healing and release. For whatever reason, God hears and reacts to the prayers that Saint John’s lifts up. I wish this was common place in the Episcopal Church and the catholic (which means universal) church. But unfortunately, it is not. Like people, churches have different spiritual gifts. One of ours happens to be healing and restoration through the power of the Holy Spirit.
To lead us in the deployment of our spiritual gift, we have prayer and healing teams. Daughters of the King and the Order of St. Luke pray every day. Dedicated church members pray our prayer list (page 17 of your bulletin). And, members of the Order of St. Luke pray with those who are interested after communion. One such member, Gwyn, experienced her first opportunity in this special ministry on Pentecost Sunday. We talked after the service. Although she felt called to pray with people during communion, she didn’t feel ready. I told her that feeling “called and not ready” is a common icon of ministry. It was explained to me this way – if you supply the availability, God will supply the ability. In the movie The Matrix, characters went into the Matrix (a computer generated world) to liberate those who were trapped. Because they were entering a computer program, they could learn things by means of a program downloaded into their brains. For instance, one character needed to fly a helicopter. The flight program was downloaded in ten seconds and suddenly she could fly. This is how seminary worked for me. Time and again I would learn something, like a Bible passage, and then use that passage the same day. At a VA Hospital, I was in an hour-long session on PTSD at 1 pm. The instructor told us PTSD patients often feel stuck in a particular traumatic event. He then gave us tools designed to unstick someone. At 2 pm I had a shift in the Hospice ward. I did not feel ready and felt woefully inadequate. A retired soldier told me a story about a firefight in Iraq during the Gulf War. His unit was pinned down. It was the third time he shared this story. I said, “It sounds like you were stuck.” Suddenly, a light went on inside of him and he agreed with tears and deep cleansing sobs. After he composed himself, I asked how he got out and he told me of a rather miraculous event that saved his unit. I then asked if he felt stuck in the Hospice ward. He nodded in agreement and shared that he’s now ready to take Jesus’ hand into everlasting life. The next day, at my 2 pm shift, I walked into his clean and empty room. The nurse said he had passed peacefully during the night. I smiled and said to myself, he’s free, thanks be to God. He is no longer stuck in that cancer ridden body. Through my availability, God freed him. I believe that God cares very little about our perceived ability and cares even less about how “prepared” we feel. If God did care about preparation, the human race would have died off long ago from infertility. But, God does care about availability. Are you available to serve God and be a builder of the Kingdom? If so, God will provide the ability. -Fr. Marshall |