Friends: I believe it is God's nature to be loving, kind and gentle to us and others always. Sometimes we have a tough time believing this and are far too hard on ourselves. Maybe this article I saved in my 2016 Prayer Journal
will help you.
Blessings and love, Fr. Jack.
"Jesus died for the sins of Judas, the same for the sins of John.
There is no sin so great that our Lord cannot love you
- otherwise we would not be commanded to love our enemies.
If you have been an enemy to God, it's okay. You are still loved.
God will not turn you away for being unlovable."
(Lane Morris Buchanan-Forward Day By Day-July 2016)